Do you currently feel like life is awful? Many people have had a difficult year, so it’s okay if you’re going through a rough patch right now. When faced with a series of difficulties that are out of their control, it is common for people to believe that life is conspiring against them.
Numerous factors, including death, money problems, losing one’s job, problems with one’s physical and mental health, and other personal tragedies, can make life miserable.
The list can grow quite lengthy.
Why does life get even worse when we attempt to improve those things?
Though sometimes it may appear that “when it rains, it pours,” don’t let that get you down!
You can develop a new perspective by realizing why life stinks and that there are things you can do to get through the tough times.
“Life is amazing. Even when it sucks, it is amazing, and we should be grateful for every moment.”
Hal Elrod
The Good News
If life is always going to suck, and adversity is always going to be coming for you, you can’t control that.
So stop trying.
You can’t control anything in this world except yourself and your reactions.
It’s time to stop focusing on the suck and begin focusing on the good in your life.
Since we are biologically predisposed to look for danger, this trait is exploited by the media to sell products to you, which you can’t control.
None of this is within your control.
Instead, it’s time to let go of the fear mongering and focus on the things you can control.
The biological reason “life sucks”
Our brains are wired to give more weight to the negative experiences we go through. This is because our brains are constantly on high alert, fixating on the perceived threat, and trying to ensure our survival.
While it is in our genetic makeup to focus on the negative, we also have tools to help us learn to rewire our thinking.
“Consequently, just because many people think that their life sucks, doesn’t mean that it necessarily does. What is true is that many people make the mistake of comparing their lives to the lives of others.”
Brian Kasperitis
Your thoughts matter
I know this is going to sound a little weird, but with practice and conscious effort, it will become more natural and easier for you to do.
The trick here is to manage your perception and thoughts. Starting by labeling your thoughts, the more you tell yourself “the world is out to get you,” the more evidence you will look for.
My therapist is always telling me that, “our brain only believes what we tell it.”
She told me once that if a person told themselves the sky was purple, often enough and believed the sky was purple, that it would eventually be purple.
The human brain cannot discern thoughts from facts on its own.
It relies on us to send it messages, information, and beliefs.
Instead of saying, “life sucks,” or my favorite, “the universe hates me,” label your thoughts like this:
- I am having a thought that life sucks.
- I am having a thought that the universe hates me.
- I am having a thought that nothing I do will make any difference.
How does this help at all?
You can take some seriousness out of negative thoughts by singing them or hearing them in a funny voice.
The goal here is to make them sound silly or downright absurd. It will be harder for you to believe they hold much weight if you think they are serious.
If you think your life sucks, it probably does. Do something about it.
Another trick my therapist taught me was to imagine my thoughts as appearing in the clouds and then watching them blow away.
You can write your negative thoughts down, and then rip the paper into shreds.
Perception matters, too
There are many factors that influence the way we perceive events, especially those where we feel like life sucks.
Perception is the way you recognize and interpret sensory stimuli and is based on your memories.
If we try something once and it blows up in our faces, we aren’t in a hurry to do it again.
They include:
- Our Heredity. Height, skin color, and gender impact the way we view the world.
- Our Needs. Physiological needs, such as food and water (or lack thereof), influence our feelings about certain situations.
- Our peers. We determine what is desirable or undesirable, based on the opinions of the people around us.
- Our interests. We assign value and importance based on how much pleasure or reward we receive from a certain activity or product.
- Our expectations. Our expectations affect our perception after the fact.
When thinking about the reasons that life could suck, and the thoughts we have about them, it is easy to see how important perception is.
Gratitude and reframing your thoughts will help you learn to find a new perspective on things.
Of course, it’s challenging to look for a positive spin on situations that you have always perceived as negative.
That struggle alone can add to the feeling that life sucks, while you try to reframe your thoughts and teach yourself alternative ways to think.
Read Also: Is it desirable to pursue a goal of zero unemployment?
What to Do When Life Sucks
You can either focus on what you can’t control, or you can focus on all the abundance in your life. We have never lived in a safer or more abundant time in human history. Here are six ways to stop asking why life is so hard and start embracing it.
1. Focus on the Good
You have a lot going on in your life, and some of it is unavoidably positive. Instead of focusing on why life sucks, spend time focusing on all the good things about your life. One act of kindness a day gives your brain a boost of oxytocin and spreads love and positivity.
2. Express Gratitude
To show gratitude daily, find something to be grateful for and write about it, post it on social media, or express it through art.
3. Handle Problems Head on
Don’t bury your head in the sand, as that only leads to delayed suckage and an extra dose of anxiety.
Grab a notepad, write out the problem, and then write down possible solutions.
If you’re having trouble, ask your closest friends what they think.
Ask them for some emotional support to carry out your plan if necessary.
Taking a moment to handle your problem head on will not only save you time in the long run but also relieve your emotional struggle when life sucks.
4. Take Mental Health Days
In these cases, taking a day or more to stop and face the feelings can help you return to a sense of balance.
Try to face your grief and know that no matter how inconvenient it is, it will take time to heal.
The world is getting more complicated, painful, and stressful, and the more this happens, the better you have to take care of yourself.
All this pressure means that something has to give, and often the first thing that goes is taking care of our mental health.
To counter all of this negativity, slow down, take a deep breath, and prioritize your mental health.
5. Think of Adversity as a Way to Grow
Adversity is a test from the world to you to see if you have grown enough to be able to face the things you want to achieve.
You get challenged until you grow into a strong enough person to handle the next level of challenges.
This is why it is so important to not only embrace challenge and pain but to ask how you can become a better person from it.
6. Quit the Negativity on Social Media
The world is struggling, but it shouldn’t all land on your shoulders.
Nothing promotes a negative, the-world-sucks mindset quite as much as the news and media outlets on social media.
If you want to feel like you are doing something positive, pick something you are passionate about and do it with all the spare time you now have not scrolling through negative news stories.
Use less plastic, eat as local, and live guilt-free.
It will take practice
It will take practice, patience, and conscious thoughts and decisions to accept that sometimes bad things happen in life that we cannot control.
If you want to feel like life sucks less, then changing the things you focus on, rethinking the way you think, and developing a new perception will help.
If you feel you are struggling with something that is just too big for these tips to help you out, then reach out for some help.
There is no shame in admitting that life is a struggle and connecting with someone who has the training to help you get through it.
A therapist or a life coach will help you process past or current trauma while giving you tools you can use to keep going.
Ride the wave when you can and reach out for help when you need it.
You aren’t alone and people out there love you, even when you feel like life sucks.
Conclusion
You need to take care of yourself, and that may mean more than just buying yourself gifts and giving yourself half-hearted compliments.
You need to give up the compulsion to listen to the news and face your feelings, and focus on the good in your life instead of what’s lacking.
One day, you will thank your struggle, for without it, you would not have found your strength.
