So, I was browsing through questions on Quora the other night, just checking things out since I was new to the platform.
I stumbled upon the question “What are 20 things that are not worth it?” and I immediately thought, “Oh yeah, I’ve got some thoughts on this.”
I’d had my fair share of disappointments and frustrations, and this felt like a chance to air them out and maybe even learn something from them.
The list I came up with was a bit controversial, but surprisingly, people liked it.
So, I figured I’d share it here and go into more detail about each point.
Just a heads up, this is all based on my personal experiences and observations.
I’m not claiming to have all the answers, but maybe my perspective can offer some insight for you too.
What Are 20 Things That Are Not Worth It?
1. Dating people who have been traumatised or abused in the past who have not dealt with it.
We all know we should be kind and supportive to people who have been through tough times.
It’s not their fault if bad things happened to them.
But here’s the thing: not everyone heals the way we expect them to. Some people get stuck in their pain, and they end up hurting others.
It’s important to be careful who you open up to.
If you’re not, you could end up getting hurt too.
Sometimes, being there for someone is totally worth it.
But if that person has issues that make them unreliable, manipulative, or even abusive, it can seriously mess with you in the long run.
This might sound harsh, but it’s the truth.
2. Collaborating or working with friends merely because they are friends.
I’ve definitely been there. I’ve become friends with people, and because we got along, I agreed to work with them.
But sometimes, it turned into a total disaster.
I’ve had friends who didn’t pay me for work I did, people I’ve worked with who weren’t as skilled as they claimed to be, and others who were just plain unreliable or entitled.
What I’ve learned is this: it’s better to work with people based on their actual skills and reputation, not just because you’re buddies.
Of course, if you happen to become friends with someone you’re working with, that’s awesome.
But don’t let friendship be the main reason you decide to work with someone.
3. Having sex with someone because you felt pressured.
Sometimes, people feel pressured into having sex.
Women might think it’s easier to go along with it than to deal with a confrontation, or they feel like they’re “supposed to” do it. Men might feel like they have to make a move to avoid being seen as less of a man.
But these are really bad reasons to get intimate with someone.
It’s important to remember that your body is yours.
You get to decide when and with whom you want to share that experience. You don’t have to do anything you’re not comfortable with, no matter what anyone else thinks.
This is your right, and if something doesn’t feel right, don’t do it.
If you ignore your feelings, you’re basically saying they don’t matter.
And even if you think you’ll forget about it later, those experiences can stick with you.
Remember, you’re the only one who can truly look out for yourself. If you don’t speak up for yourself, who will?
4. Pursuing ‘spirituality’ for purpose.
A lot of people get into “new age” spirituality thinking they’ll find meaning and purpose.
But what often happens is they end up selling some kind of spiritual product or idea, or they just get more confused.
These philosophies often talk about “nothingness,” “being,” and the “non-self.”
That sounds deep, but it can actually hold you back from growing and reaching your full potential.
Think about it: to really achieve your goals, you need to know who you are and what you’re good at.
But new age spirituality tells you that you’re not really anything in particular.
This can make you less ambitious and less likely to work on your skills and talents.
It can also make you less motivated, because you no longer have a clear idea of what’s important to you.
And instead of focusing on the future, you get stuck in the present moment. This can leave a lot of people feeling lost and unable to make decisions.
Another thing about new age spirituality is that it often views the ego, or your individual identity, as a bad thing.
It’s like they’re saying you should be more like everyone else, more connected to nature, and less focused on what makes you unique.
You can even see this in how they dress, often in a tribal style that emphasizes being part of a group rather than standing out as an individual.
5. Challenging people’s politics online.
Online, you’ll constantly run into things that challenge your beliefs.
But unless a discussion helps you understand your own viewpoint or someone else’s more clearly, it’s usually a waste of time.
Most people online won’t change their minds, so it’s better to choose your arguments carefully.
Let’s face it, it doesn’t really matter how many people you “own” online, whether you call them “libtards” or “nazis.”
You were probably just drawn into a pointless argument, tricked by a troll, or maybe even responding to a joke article without realizing it.
6. Ranting on social media.
Let’s talk about rants for a minute.
Rants are fueled by emotions, not necessarily logic or facts.
When you’re feeling heated, what might seem totally reasonable to you might come across as irrational and uninformed to someone casually scrolling through social media. You might even end up embarrassing yourself later on.
The best rants are usually the ones that come from thoughtful people who’ve taken the time to analyze a situation.
That kind of rant can be insightful and even eloquent, not like a messy, impulsive outburst.
7. Drinking a large amount of alcohol, in any situation.
It’s crazy how hard it can be to learn from bad experiences.
It’s like every time something goes wrong, whether it’s a bad choice, a rough night, or a terrible hangover, we forget what we were supposed to learn.
But when you think about it, it kind of makes sense, doesn’t it?
Take alcohol, for example. It can be fun in the moment, but it often ends up ruining things.
It might make people loosen up, but it can also bring out the worst in them.
Suddenly, everyone’s acting on their most basic instincts – lust, anger, aggression – stuff we usually keep in check to be polite and civilized.
8. Telling an addict in the middle of their habit to stop the object of their addiction.
From what I’ve seen, it’s tough to convince someone with an addiction to change.
They usually have underlying issues that led to the addiction, and they’ve built up a whole mental story that justifies their behavior, no matter how harmful it is.
If you try to tell them to stop, they probably won’t listen.
It’s like you’re asking them to face the very things they’re desperately trying to avoid.
These people usually have to figure things out for themselves.
They won’t ask for help until they hit rock bottom and their excuses no longer work.
It’s a tough situation, but sometimes, that’s just how it goes.
9. Getting involved in a quarrel between two people in a relationship.
Here’s the thing, you gotta ask yourself: do you really want to get involved in someone else’s relationship drama?
It’s not always easy, and you could end up getting caught in the crossfire.
Sometimes, people are so desperate to stay in a relationship that they become delusional.
Like, they might flat out refuse to believe their partner cheated on them, even if everyone else knows it’s true.
Or they might stay even though their partner treats them terribly.
If you can, it’s usually best to avoid getting tangled up in those situations.
10. Social media.
Social media can be a great way to stay connected and organized, but it can also suck up a ton of your time.
It’s designed to keep you hooked, and your brain actually gets a little reward every time you engage with it.
Over time, this can become a habit, even an addiction.
You start acting on impulse instead of thinking about what you really want to do.
Think about this: back in 2012, businesses in the U.S. were losing a ton of money because of social media distractions.
That number is probably even higher now.
So, how much time and energy are you personally losing to social media?
11. Blind research of infotainment on the internet.
Do you ever find yourself binge-watching documentaries, reading endless articles, or just absorbing tons of information about stuff you find interesting?
Like, you’re up until 3 a.m. because you want to know everything about everything?
It might feel like you’re learning a lot, but be honest: are you really remembering any of it?
If not, it might be because there’s no real purpose or project behind your learning.
It’s like playing video games for hours – it’s fun in the moment, but afterwards, you’re left with a weird feeling of emptiness.
Real learning takes time and focus.
You gotta slow down and dig deep to really understand something.
12. Working a job with poor safety standards.
One day, I was working outside and a huge brick fell from above, barely missing my head. That could’ve been it for me, right then and there.
Turns out, my friend had cut off part of a safety chain on some heavy equipment – just because it was “in the way.”
Talk about a wake-up call!
I didn’t like that work, and if that brick had killed me, I would’ve been so angry. Like, enough to come back from the dead just to get revenge over a stupid fence.
The point is, don’t risk your life for a job you hate.
It’s just not worth it.
13. Buying unnecessary luxuries if you’re below upper middle class.
Here’s how people get into financial trouble: they try to buy their way into looking successful instead of working for it.
This could be anything from getting a car you can’t afford, to always having the latest gadgets, to just spending more money than you make.
Instead of saving or investing, you’re blowing it on stuff to impress others.
It’s not always easy to figure out if you really need or deserve something, but if you find yourself making excuses to justify a purchase, that’s a red flag.
Remember, being able to delay gratification – that is, waiting for the things you want – is a big part of being successful in the long run.
14. Staying up late when you know you have work the next day.
I know, I know, I sound like your mom, but even I have to remind myself of this sometimes: don’t stay up too late!
It’s so easy to do, especially when you have a lot to do the next day.
You feel like you can’t do what you want to do during the day, so you try to cram it all in at night.
But then you’re exhausted the next day, and it makes everything harder.
You have no energy left for the things you actually care about.
Remember, sleep is super important.
It’s tempting to sacrifice it, but you really shouldn’t.
It’s essential for your body, your mind, and even just staying sane.
15. Dating someone with different core values.
Here’s the truth: love isn’t always enough to make a relationship work.
You might have amazing chemistry with someone, but if you don’t see eye-to-eye on the important things in life, your relationship probably won’t last.
It’s easy to spend years with someone who just isn’t a good match.
You’ll both think you’re right, and you’ll try to change each other.
It can turn into a real power struggle.
That’s why it’s important to know your own values and personality, and find someone who’s compatible with you.
Of course, you don’t want to be exactly the same – a little challenge is good. But you should agree on the big things.
Sometimes, trying to compromise on those big things just leads to resentment down the road.
16. Acting in revenge.
Think about what revenge really means.
If you see it as a way to get justice, you’ll quickly realize it doesn’t work.
Real justice happens when the person who messed up understands their mistake, feels sorry for what they did, tries to fix it, and then changes their ways so they won’t do it again.
Sadly, this kind of justice can only happen if that person changes on their own.
But there’s a little bit of justice in the fact that if they don’t change, they haven’t really grown as a person.
They’re stuck.
Revenge doesn’t teach anyone anything.
In fact, it can actually make things worse.
When you try to get revenge, you’re giving the other person an excuse to justify their actions.
They might even think, “Well, look at them, they’re just as bad as me.” It’s a vicious cycle.
17. Neglecting your potential.
People often ignore the things they’re passionate about or interested in.
They put off learning new skills or exploring those interests, and it creates a feeling of frustration and unease.
It’s really sad when this happens because these passions are what shape us into who we truly are.
They’re how we express ourselves and contribute to the world.
Sure, it can be scary to chase those dreams, but the fear and self-doubt are just part of the journey.
18. Working long-term in a job you hate or with people who treat you poorly.
If you keep putting off the things you’re passionate about, it can really wear you down and waste valuable time.
Your life might start to feel like a boring routine, and you might end up looking for unhealthy ways to escape that feeling.
It’s important to keep growing and working towards something that inspires you.
That’s how you express who you are and make your life meaningful.
19. Higher education when you don’t have a plan.
Here’s the deal: sometimes, college isn’t worth it.
You might end up with a useless degree and a mountain of debt.
If you’re up for the challenge and willing to take some risks, starting your own business might be a better option.
Most people say they actually learn everything they need on the job anyway.
Of course, it depends on what you want to do.
If you want to be a chemist, you’ll probably need that degree. But if you’re interested in a field where practical experience is more important, college might not be necessary.
And be careful with those humanities degrees. The subjects are super interesting, but not many companies are looking to hire philosophers.
A humanities degree might help you get a job by making you seem smarter and more sophisticated, but if you want to be independent, you’ll still need strong entrepreneurial skills to make a living.
20. Chasing fun and being whimsical in your 20’s.
Sure, go out and have fun, get some work experience, and travel the world!
It’s all good.
But here’s the thing: if you don’t have a sense of urgency in your 20s, you might hit a wall later on. Around 27-30, you might realize you haven’t accomplished much, you don’t know how to support yourself, and you’ve basically wasted those years not thinking about your future.
Also, be careful with impulsive decisions, especially when it comes to relationships and sex. You might end up with someone before you’ve even figured out what you really want in life.
The best thing you can do is try to make a plan for yourself as you gain more life experience.
And like I said before, work on those skills!
