So, I was browsing through questions on Quora the other night, just checking things out since I was new to the platform.
I stumbled upon the question âWhat are 20 things that are not worth it?â and I immediately thought, âOh yeah, Iâve got some thoughts on this.â
Iâd had my fair share of disappointments and frustrations, and this felt like a chance to air them out and maybe even learn something from them.
The list I came up with was a bit controversial, but surprisingly, people liked it.
So, I figured Iâd share it here and go into more detail about each point.
Just a heads up, this is all based on my personal experiences and observations.
Iâm not claiming to have all the answers, but maybe my perspective can offer some insight for you too.
What Are 20 Things That Are Not Worth It?
1. Dating people who have been traumatised or abused in the past who have not dealt with it.
We all know we should be kind and supportive to people who have been through tough times.
Itâs not their fault if bad things happened to them.
But hereâs the thing: not everyone heals the way we expect them to. Some people get stuck in their pain, and they end up hurting others.
Itâs important to be careful who you open up to.
If youâre not, you could end up getting hurt too.
Sometimes, being there for someone is totally worth it.
But if that person has issues that make them unreliable, manipulative, or even abusive, it can seriously mess with you in the long run.
This might sound harsh, but itâs the truth.
2. Collaborating or working with friends merely because they are friends.
Iâve definitely been there. Iâve become friends with people, and because we got along, I agreed to work with them.
But sometimes, it turned into a total disaster.
Iâve had friends who didnât pay me for work I did, people Iâve worked with who werenât as skilled as they claimed to be, and others who were just plain unreliable or entitled.
What Iâve learned is this:Â itâs better to work with people based on their actual skills and reputation, not just because youâre buddies.
Of course, if you happen to become friends with someone youâre working with, thatâs awesome.
But donât let friendship be the main reason you decide to work with someone.
3. Having sex with someone because you felt pressured.
Sometimes, people feel pressured into having sex.
Women might think itâs easier to go along with it than to deal with a confrontation, or they feel like theyâre âsupposed toâ do it. Men might feel like they have to make a move to avoid being seen as less of a man.
But these are really bad reasons to get intimate with someone.
Itâs important to remember that your body is yours.
You get to decide when and with whom you want to share that experience. You donât have to do anything youâre not comfortable with, no matter what anyone else thinks.
This is your right, and if something doesnât feel right, donât do it.
If you ignore your feelings, youâre basically saying they donât matter.
And even if you think youâll forget about it later, those experiences can stick with you.
Remember, youâre the only one who can truly look out for yourself. If you donât speak up for yourself, who will?
4. Pursuing âspiritualityâ for purpose.
A lot of people get into ânew ageâ spirituality thinking theyâll find meaning and purpose.
But what often happens is they end up selling some kind of spiritual product or idea, or they just get more confused.
These philosophies often talk about ânothingness,â âbeing,â and the ânon-self.â
That sounds deep, but it can actually hold you back from growing and reaching your full potential.
Think about it:Â to really achieve your goals, you need to know who you are and what youâre good at.
But new age spirituality tells you that youâre not really anything in particular.
This can make you less ambitious and less likely to work on your skills and talents.
It can also make you less motivated, because you no longer have a clear idea of whatâs important to you.
And instead of focusing on the future, you get stuck in the present moment. This can leave a lot of people feeling lost and unable to make decisions.
Another thing about new age spirituality is that it often views the ego, or your individual identity, as a bad thing.
Itâs like theyâre saying you should be more like everyone else, more connected to nature, and less focused on what makes you unique.
You can even see this in how they dress, often in a tribal style that emphasizes being part of a group rather than standing out as an individual.
5. Challenging peopleâs politics online.
Online, youâll constantly run into things that challenge your beliefs.
But unless a discussion helps you understand your own viewpoint or someone elseâs more clearly, itâs usually a waste of time.
Most people online wonât change their minds, so itâs better to choose your arguments carefully.
Letâs face it, it doesnât really matter how many people you âownâ online, whether you call them âlibtardsâ or ânazis.â
You were probably just drawn into a pointless argument, tricked by a troll, or maybe even responding to a joke article without realizing it.
6. Ranting on social media.
Letâs talk about rants for a minute.
Rants are fueled by emotions, not necessarily logic or facts.
When youâre feeling heated, what might seem totally reasonable to you might come across as irrational and uninformed to someone casually scrolling through social media. You might even end up embarrassing yourself later on.
The best rants are usually the ones that come from thoughtful people whoâve taken the time to analyze a situation.
That kind of rant can be insightful and even eloquent, not like a messy, impulsive outburst.
7. Drinking a large amount of alcohol, in any situation.
Itâs crazy how hard it can be to learn from bad experiences.
Itâs like every time something goes wrong, whether itâs a bad choice, a rough night, or a terrible hangover, we forget what we were supposed to learn.
But when you think about it, it kind of makes sense, doesnât it?
Take alcohol, for example. It can be fun in the moment, but it often ends up ruining things.
It might make people loosen up, but it can also bring out the worst in them.
Suddenly, everyoneâs acting on their most basic instincts â lust, anger, aggression â stuff we usually keep in check to be polite and civilized.
8. Telling an addict in the middle of their habit to stop the object of their addiction.
From what Iâve seen, itâs tough to convince someone with an addiction to change.
They usually have underlying issues that led to the addiction, and theyâve built up a whole mental story that justifies their behavior, no matter how harmful it is.
If you try to tell them to stop, they probably wonât listen.
Itâs like youâre asking them to face the very things theyâre desperately trying to avoid.
These people usually have to figure things out for themselves.
They wonât ask for help until they hit rock bottom and their excuses no longer work.
Itâs a tough situation, but sometimes, thatâs just how it goes.
9. Getting involved in a quarrel between two people in a relationship.
Hereâs the thing, you gotta ask yourself: do you really want to get involved in someone elseâs relationship drama?
Itâs not always easy, and you could end up getting caught in the crossfire.
Sometimes, people are so desperate to stay in a relationship that they become delusional.
Like, they might flat out refuse to believe their partner cheated on them, even if everyone else knows itâs true.
Or they might stay even though their partner treats them terribly.
If you can, itâs usually best to avoid getting tangled up in those situations.
10. Social media.
Social media can be a great way to stay connected and organized, but it can also suck up a ton of your time.
Itâs designed to keep you hooked, and your brain actually gets a little reward every time you engage with it.
Over time, this can become a habit, even an addiction.
You start acting on impulse instead of thinking about what you really want to do.
Think about this: back in 2012, businesses in the U.S. were losing a ton of money because of social media distractions.
That number is probably even higher now.
So, how much time and energy are you personally losing to social media?
11. Blind research of infotainment on the internet.
Do you ever find yourself binge-watching documentaries, reading endless articles, or just absorbing tons of information about stuff you find interesting?
Like, youâre up until 3 a.m. because you want to know everything about everything?
It might feel like youâre learning a lot, but be honest: are you really remembering any of it?
If not, it might be because thereâs no real purpose or project behind your learning.
Itâs like playing video games for hours â itâs fun in the moment, but afterwards, youâre left with a weird feeling of emptiness.
Real learning takes time and focus.
You gotta slow down and dig deep to really understand something.
12. Working a job with poor safety standards.
One day, I was working outside and a huge brick fell from above, barely missing my head. That couldâve been it for me, right then and there.
Turns out, my friend had cut off part of a safety chain on some heavy equipment â just because it was âin the way.â
Talk about a wake-up call!
I didnât like that work, and if that brick had killed me, I wouldâve been so angry. Like, enough to come back from the dead just to get revenge over a stupid fence.
The point is, donât risk your life for a job you hate.
Itâs just not worth it.
13. Buying unnecessary luxuries if youâre below upper middle class.
Hereâs how people get into financial trouble: they try to buy their way into looking successful instead of working for it.
This could be anything from getting a car you canât afford, to always having the latest gadgets, to just spending more money than you make.
Instead of saving or investing, youâre blowing it on stuff to impress others.
Itâs not always easy to figure out if you really need or deserve something, but if you find yourself making excuses to justify a purchase, thatâs a red flag.
Remember, being able to delay gratification â that is, waiting for the things you want â is a big part of being successful in the long run.
14. Staying up late when you know you have work the next day.
I know, I know, I sound like your mom, but even I have to remind myself of this sometimes: donât stay up too late!
Itâs so easy to do, especially when you have a lot to do the next day.
You feel like you canât do what you want to do during the day, so you try to cram it all in at night.
But then youâre exhausted the next day, and it makes everything harder.
You have no energy left for the things you actually care about.
Remember, sleep is super important.
Itâs tempting to sacrifice it, but you really shouldnât.
Itâs essential for your body, your mind, and even just staying sane.
15. Dating someone with different core values.
Hereâs the truth:Â love isnât always enough to make a relationship work.
You might have amazing chemistry with someone, but if you donât see eye-to-eye on the important things in life, your relationship probably wonât last.
Itâs easy to spend years with someone who just isnât a good match.
Youâll both think youâre right, and youâll try to change each other.
It can turn into a real power struggle.
Thatâs why itâs important to know your own values and personality, and find someone whoâs compatible with you.
Of course, you donât want to be exactly the same â a little challenge is good. But you should agree on the big things.
Sometimes, trying to compromise on those big things just leads to resentment down the road.
16. Acting in revenge.
Think about what revenge really means.
If you see it as a way to get justice, youâll quickly realize it doesnât work.
Real justice happens when the person who messed up understands their mistake, feels sorry for what they did, tries to fix it, and then changes their ways so they wonât do it again.
Sadly, this kind of justice can only happen if that person changes on their own.
But thereâs a little bit of justice in the fact that if they donât change, they havenât really grown as a person.
Theyâre stuck.
Revenge doesnât teach anyone anything.
In fact, it can actually make things worse.
When you try to get revenge, youâre giving the other person an excuse to justify their actions.
They might even think, âWell, look at them, theyâre just as bad as me.â Itâs a vicious cycle.
17. Neglecting your potential.
People often ignore the things theyâre passionate about or interested in.
They put off learning new skills or exploring those interests, and it creates a feeling of frustration and unease.
Itâs really sad when this happens because these passions are what shape us into who we truly are.
Theyâre how we express ourselves and contribute to the world.
Sure, it can be scary to chase those dreams, but the fear and self-doubt are just part of the journey.
18. Working long-term in a job you hate or with people who treat you poorly.
If you keep putting off the things youâre passionate about, it can really wear you down and waste valuable time.
Your life might start to feel like a boring routine, and you might end up looking for unhealthy ways to escape that feeling.
Itâs important to keep growing and working towards something that inspires you.
Thatâs how you express who you are and make your life meaningful.
19. Higher education when you donât have a plan.
Hereâs the deal:Â sometimes, college isnât worth it.
You might end up with a useless degree and a mountain of debt.
If youâre up for the challenge and willing to take some risks, starting your own business might be a better option.
Most people say they actually learn everything they need on the job anyway.
Of course, it depends on what you want to do.
If you want to be a chemist, youâll probably need that degree. But if youâre interested in a field where practical experience is more important, college might not be necessary.
And be careful with those humanities degrees. The subjects are super interesting, but not many companies are looking to hire philosophers.
A humanities degree might help you get a job by making you seem smarter and more sophisticated, but if you want to be independent, youâll still need strong entrepreneurial skills to make a living.
20. Chasing fun and being whimsical in your 20âs.
Sure, go out and have fun, get some work experience, and travel the world!
Itâs all good.
But hereâs the thing: if you donât have a sense of urgency in your 20s, you might hit a wall later on. Around 27-30, you might realize you havenât accomplished much, you donât know how to support yourself, and youâve basically wasted those years not thinking about your future.
Also, be careful with impulsive decisions, especially when it comes to relationships and sex. You might end up with someone before youâve even figured out what you really want in life.
The best thing you can do is try to make a plan for yourself as you gain more life experience.
And like I said before, work on those skills!
